Her Boyfriend Is Not Happy About Her Getting to Study Abroad. Is He Controlling and Toxic?

Image Credit: Antonio Guillem & Shutterstock

A forum user (18F) has opened up about the recent difficulties she has been going through with her boyfriend (23M). The issue centers entirely around her desire to spend some time traveling abroad. This opportunity is surely too good to turn down, but her boyfriend makes her feel like she shouldn’t go. So what’s the deal here? Why is he trying to deny her one of her dreams? Let’s hear the whole story before jumping to conclusions.

A Once in a Lifetime Opportunity

The original poster (OP) explains that she is in her first year at college and has always had her eyes set on studying abroad at some point during her time at college. Unfortunately, this isn’t something that many people can afford to do, but her parents are in a position where they can afford for her to go, so she understandably wants to pursue it.

She has been given the opportunity to spend four weeks in Italy studying as part of her course, and she is excited because her dreams are becoming a reality. When she told her boyfriend of one year the news, though, she was slightly taken aback by his reaction.

Jealous and Concerned

Instead of being happy and excited for OP, he has been acting jealous and concerned. He says things like “you are going to meet some Italian guy over there” to her all the time, making her not want to go as she doesn’t want to upset him.

While OP concedes she would also be a little worried and nervous if the shoe were on the other foot, she says that she would still encourage him to go if it was something he wanted to do. After all, it’s not like OP is planning on going away for a year. It’s just for four weeks!

Noticeable Age Gap

OP wonders whether the noticeable age gap between the two is the reason for the reaction, as he might not be able to relate to what a college student is thinking.

All of this has resulted in OP debating whether to go to Italy or not, as she is worried that it could result in the end of the relationship. She took to Reddit to ask others what they would do in her position – go and pursue their dreams at the expense of their relationship or stay at home?

Go Go Go!

The Redditors that responded were overwhelmingly in favor of OP jumping on the plane to Italy regardless of the impact on her relationship with her boyfriend. One person said:

“If he isn’t supportive now, it will only get worse. This will be an eye-opening experience, at least for one of you. You should go and have a great time.

Maybe he will adjust and become super supportive, or maybe he will resent you. Who knows? The thing is, these are his issues, not yours. His feelings are his responsibility, not yours.”

Concerning Issues

Others were concerned about the age gap between the pair and believed it was a significant factor in the dispute. One person said:

“A 22-year-old dating a 16/17-year-old? Yeah, he wanted a GF he could control and tell her what she can and can not do. DO NOT LET HIM! He will try to take your youth away from you and stop you from having once-in-a-lifetime experiences, do not let him!”

What Do You Think?

What do you think? Should she stay or should she go? Let us know what you think in the comments.

(Source: Reddit)

The Impulse Traveler
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1 Comment

  1. Just for four weeks? You’ve got to be kidding! When I saw the title of the article, I assumed it would be for a four-year program, and I was all ready to comment that he should just follow her to Europe. But she’s just going for four weeks. That is nothing! I’m sure he’ll survive in the meantime.

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