Sometimes, people remain close to their school friends for their whole life, while on other occasions, people drift away from them and make new friends as they grow up. There is no “right” or “wrong” way to make and retain friends, and it’s all down to individual circumstances. A Reddit user (22M) recently went on vacation with some old-school friends and quickly realized it was a big mistake. Here’s why…
Leave the Past in the Past
The original poster (OP) started his story by giving context to the situation. He explains that after high school, he went to an out-of-state university while his school friends all went to in-state ones. He says that he naturally drifted from them during university and that they have expanded the friendship group with people they met during their studies.
OP has recently returned home and started to hang out with them again more, and things are usually okay when he is just with them. However, when the “new” friends turn up, he feels like his old friends completely ignore him and make him feel invisible.
A Trip To Los Angeles
Despite being made to feel like he was uninteresting, he agreed to go on vacation to Los Angeles with them and several of their new friends. However, during the trip, he was made to feel like a spare part, with none of his original friends making any effort with them. In fact, he says he got more out of the newer friends who he doesn’t know.
At one point, he felt so left out that he just ditched the group and went and did his own thing for an afternoon. Halfway through his day on his own, he got a text from one of his friends telling him that they had dinner reservations and not to be late. As it happened, OP got stuck in traffic and was ten minutes late for the meal, which resulted in his friend bombarding him with abuse.
At A Table All Alone
What’s worse, they didn’t even save a spot for him on their table, so he had to go and sit at a separate table with a bunch of their friends that he hadn’t really spoken to before.
Taking to Reddit, he wanted to know whether he should stop hanging out with this group or continue to make an effort with them, given that they have been friends for so long.
Some Things Just Reach a Natural End
The majority of people in the comments were in agreement that the time had come for OP to stop hanging out with this group, as they clearly didn’t value him. One user said:
“At some point, especially in your 20s, you realize some friend groups aren’t meant to last forever. Focus on the new people in your life, explore your interests, and expand your circles. Never make more effort for people than they are showing you they want to make for you.”
Not All Friendships Evolve
Another popular comment came from someone who was even more direct with OP. They said:
“Not all friendships evolve and become better, and some go to s**t. And it is time to make new friends who will treat you better. Don’t let the fond memories keep you from seeing them for who they are now.”
Has This Happened To You?
Have you ever had to cut old friends out of your life due to their behavior towards you, or have you been able to retain friendships from high school? Let us know in the comments.