two women arguing

Have you ever been in a situation where you don’t want to do something with one of your friends because they behave in a certain kind of way when you’re out with them? If so, then you are probably going to relate to this Reddit user’s story. 

She (29F) has a friend (27F) who has made her feel uncomfortable in the past when they’ve been traveling together. Now, the possibility of another trip has come up, but she doesn’t want to go with her. Let’s find out just exactly what her friend did last time around.

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Walking On Eggshells

The original poster starts by explaining that her friend (Jade) identifies as a “feminist/socialist/genderqueer/demisexual” and that she is, of course, okay with that. However, she does believe that her friend’s activism can sometimes become loud just for the sake of it. 

She believes that Jade is the type of person who jumps on any old bandwagon and protests just for the sake of it and doesn’t care about the cause. OP says she doesn’t like going out with her anymore because Jade gets into awkward debates with people wherever they go. 

OP explains that the pair of them went to New Orleans last year and got into a situation with a couple of rednecks. OP is black, and she was getting grief from these rednecks but just wanted to get away from them instead of arguing. However, her friend decided to stay and get into a huge row with them, with OP having to wrest Jade off them by the end. 

While some people will say that her friend was standing up to racist bullies, others would say that it’s not up to Jade to decide how OP should respond to being racially abused. If OP just wanted to get out of there, then her friend should have followed. What’s worse, Jade shared the whole thing on Snapchat. 

OP is now planning a trip to Japan but doesn’t want to invite Jade with her. Instead, she is planning on going with another friend, and she has told Jade this and the reasons why. Consequently, Jade is furious. 

OP’s mum has even backed Jade up in this situation, saying that OP is out of line for not letting her go with her. So should OP re-invite Jade, or should she stick to her original decision? The Reddit community certainly had some interesting takes on the situation. 

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Look After Your Own Happiness 

The vast majority of Reddittors had OP’s back in the situation. A common theme throughout the comment was that OP should do what makes her happy.

One person, in particular, made a very important point, referring to the situation in New Orleans, saying, “don’t go away with someone who puts you in danger. They don’t recognize they have privilege in the situation. Travel danger is a whole different ballgame.”

Another person said: “She doesn’t know how to pick a fight and when to walk away. The argument with the red becks could have gone so wrong. She is going to argue with the wrong person one day. There is a big difference between sticking up for what’s right and being loud.”

Finally, the situation was summed up perfectly by one person who said: “You had a concert, brought it up, and they said, ‘I’ll do what I want.’ Don’t travel with annoying people. It runs the trip. You paid for good experiences.

What do you think? Is OP in the right for ditching her friend for her trip to Japan, or should she take her with her? Let us know what you think in the comments. 

Read the full story here.

This article is produced and syndicated by The Impulse Traveler.

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