When one travel forum user posted her tale of a new baby, a travel-loving husband, and a change of heart, she wanted to find out who was right or wrong. The people in the comments were happy to chime in with their thoughts.
A Promise Made, Then Broken
The original poster (OP) begins by saying that her husband has always enjoyed a life of traveling, both solo and as a couple.
After falling pregnant unexpectedly during the pandemic, the OP says she was ready to be a mother but that her husband struggled with mixed feelings.
Not wanting to give up his love of travel, he asked her if she would be ok with him traveling after the baby was born. The OP agreed, as she had parents nearby who were happy to help look after the baby.
Now the baby is eight months old, and OP's husband has been a great father. When he brings up the idea of traveling again, the OP does a U-turn on her promise, telling him he should stay home and that “he shouldn't be away from the baby for even one day.
Think About It
The husband wants to take time to think about it, but an old friend makes contact the next day, asking him to attend a wedding in Taiwan for 4-5 days.
The OP puts her foot down, saying that things have changed, and he can't go. Her husband reacts angrily, saying she has broken her promise to him and asking why her parents can't help look after the baby.
The argument escalates when the OP says she could “take him to court if he wants to abandon the baby.” As a result, her husband breaks his game system in a rage and is now giving her the silent treatment.
Travel Forum Users Had a Lot to Say
People were nearly unanimous in declaring the OP YTA (You're the a**hole).
One user said: “YTA – Going on vacation isn't abandoning your baby. You broke your agreement. Even if there wasn't an agreement, telling your husband he's not allowed to be away from the baby for even a day is just close to deranged.”
Utterly Unhinged
Another said: “YTA and utterly unhinged. You don't understand the definition of abandonment. Your husband isn't doing anything wrong, and your child will grow up to be better adjusted to parents who have interests and identities outside of parenthood. Keep it up and your husband will be free to travel whenever he wants during the 50% of the time you have custody after the divorce. Or you could get therapy and do better. Your choice.”
Different Ideas
While most people supported the OP's husband, some commenters had different ideas.
One user wrote with concern: “I'm not going to say YTA because I think you might have postpartum mental health issues. It's not healthy to be this anxious about one parent leaving the baby for a few days, but unfortunately, this can be a common form of postpartum anxiety.”
The OP even had a few users on her side, with one saying: “NTA (Not the a**hole), what does he think the child is, a puppy? You didn't know how you'd feel when you said he could still travel, and he apparently didn't know that he was going to have a human baby.
Was the OP wrong to break her promise to her husband? Should her husband change his expectations now that the baby has been born and he spends all his time at home? How would you and your partner handle this?
This article was produced and syndicated by The Impulse Traveler. This article is inspired by the internet and does not necessarily reflect the views or opinions of The Impulse Traveler.
