When you get into a serious relationship with someone, there can be several different dealbreakers or non-negotiables. For people who love traveling and exploring new places, should being with someone who shares these interests be one of these non-negotiables? Or can you enjoy it alone while your partner stays at home?
These are the questions that one advice forum user (20F) has been asking herself after discovering her boyfriend (20M) has no interest in traveling. Read on to learn the full story.
Different Interests = Different Futures?
The original poster (OP) explains that the couple is currently in a long-distance relationship as she is in college, but her boyfriend lives at home. While they only see each other every couple of weeks, they have been together for one and a half years and are very much in love.
Unfortunately, OP is starting to realize that what they both want to do with their lives is quite different, and she is concerned that this will become a major stumbling block later down the road.
Travel The World
She wants to travel the world and experience new cultures and ways of life, whereas he would rather spend money on tangible things. She has tried to push traveling on to him, but he dismisses her each time, saying that he has no interest in it and, therefore, wouldn't spend thousands of dollars on it.
OP says that her boyfriend would be happy for her to travel on her own, but she prefers the idea of traveling with someone else. She wants to open up to him about the situation but struggles after an incident earlier in the relationship where she broke his trust. OP's boyfriend decided to stay with her despite this incident, and ever since, she has put her feelings aside on most things to ensure he is always happy.
The more she thinks about it, the more disappointed she is by the fact that she won't be able to travel with him in the future. She is beginning to wonder whether the relationship is going to work long-term. If she wants to travel the world, but he wants to stay at home, does she have a point?
Respect His Feelings
Taking to an advice forum, OP asked the community what she should do about the situation. A number of different views came in, with some people believing the relationship was doomed to fail and others believing that it's normal to have differing interests.
Growing In Different Directions
One person said: “It sounds like you guys are growing in different directions. Do you want to be the person who travels or stays home? I don't think he'll be happy traveling, and I don't think you'll be happy not traveling.”
One of the more encouraging messages read: “Some couples view travel differently – you should still go see the world. It's fine to have different travel views and habits.”
However, that same person also warned OP not to drag her boyfriend with her unwillingly and that if traveling with a significant other was an important part of her traveling dream, she should consider ending the relationship.
Could You Do This?
Could you be in a relationship with someone whose plans don't align with yours? Or is it healthy to have separate interests from your significant other? In the comments below, let us know what you would do in OP's shoes.