Mother Protests “Unpopular” Trip Buddy Assigned to Daughter, Causing Trip Cancellation for the Entire Class. Were Her Actions Justified?

kids on field trip
Image Credit: Halfpoint via

A mother pulled her daughter out of a school trip to a water park after the teacher assigned her as a “buddy” to a classmate who was not popular among the students. The teacher begged the mother to let her daughter attend the trip, but the mother refused, as the teacher had a pattern of enforcing archaic gender roles and making the girls do emotional labor for the boys.

A Mother’s Bold Move Against an Unfair School Trip

The original poster (OP) was shocked when her daughter came home crying, telling her she didn’t want to go on an upcoming trip to a water park with her class.

When the OP finally got her daughter to explain, she learned that Bryn’s teacher, Ms. N, had forced her to be the “buddy” of a classmate, Ben, for the entirety of the trip, as nobody liked him.

The OP had had a previous experience with Ms. N, who had used her older daughter as a “behavior buffer” for the naughty boys, and felt that Ms. N was enforcing archaic gender roles and making girls do emotional labor for the boys.

A Quick Email

The mother emailed Ms. N, who responded that Bryn had to be Ben’s buddy if she went on the trip. The mother decided to pull Bryn out of the trip and booked her VIP tickets instead.

After letting other mothers in the class know what happened, eight students out of twenty either didn’t go or went with the mother. Ms. N then sent an email saying the trip would either have to be canceled or the cost raised for the students who still wanted to go.

She begged the OP to let Bryn go and told the other parents to let their kids go, promising not to make Bryn do anything she didn’t want to do. The mother told Ms. N she should have thought about that before trying to make Bryn do her job.

Is She Being Petty?

The husband said the OP was being petty, that Ms. N clearly feels bad about what she did, and that she should let Bryn go. He asked if she really wanted to deprive the children of what they’d been waiting for all year.

The OP said that if this weren’t Ms. N’s first offense, she would have agreed, but she has a pattern of this behavior, and hopefully, this will stop it. Plus, if she has to explain this to her superiors, the mother has receipts. So the outcome of the situation remains unknown.

Reddit Community Had a Lot to Say

One user said, “No, I agree with this. OP’s husband is wrong in his assertion the teacher feels bad. She feels bad that her plan to use OP’s daughter backfired spectacularly, and she now looks as if she can’t manage even the basics of a field trip.”

Another user said, “All of this except the “sorry” part. Don’t apologize for protecting your daughter. The teacher isn’t at all sorry, she’s facing a consequence she doesn’t want to face. She did the same kind of thing to your older daughter and only stopped when OP threatened to take it to the superintendent. OP, time to follow through with that.”

You Should Apologize

Another user said, “I would say I’m sorry due to the fact that you tried to force to daughter to be a chaperone to a boy that she does not feel comfortable around we made other arrangements. I tried reaching out, and you told me there was nothing that could be done. My daughter is not a chaperone and should not be forced to do something she’s uncomfortable doing. You refused to listen to either of us, and I’ve made other arrangements.”

Another user said,” Every trip we took to the water park, the only rules we had were, be back by X time for lunch and X time to leave, and no one is allowed to play mini golf or bumper boats. We would’ve hated having to have a buddy the whole day, especially if one wants to do a slide and the other doesn’t.”

How Do You Feel?

How do you feel about the mother’s decision to pull her daughter out of the school trip? Do you think the mother was being petty or justified in her actions? How can parents support their children in situations like this?

Source: Reddit.

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