Selfish or Self-Care? Woman Defies Family With Expensive Vacation Despite Family’s Hardships

family in hotel room
Image Credit: AleksandarNakic / Getty Images via

A Reddit user shared her story of struggling to balance responsibilities and a luxury trip. 

Struggling With Family Financial Tension

A 21-year-old person (referred to as F21) lives with her parents and three siblings. F21 works a full-time job and can save for an upcoming trip while their older sibling is also working. However, their parents are not employed despite being fully capable, and the family relies on contributions from the two working siblings. The parents have accumulated significant debt and have yet to make any effort to find work or start a savings plan.

The family has been in debt for a long time, even before the F21 was born. The parents are not concerned about their depleted savings and live each month on the occasional income from the mother and contributions from their older and younger children. The F21 has always been reluctant to contribute and has delayed giving money as long as possible. They believe it is unfair for the parents to complain about the financial situation constantly but never do anything to improve it.

The F21 has tried to talk their parents into getting part-time jobs or starting a savings plan, but these efforts have always fallen on deaf ears. Recently, the father got fed up with the F21's delay in giving them money and complained about why they needed to continue supporting the family. She mentioned that their salary is why the family is no longer eligible for financial aid and said hurtful things. This was not the first time she has expressed her frustration, and the F21 feels her point of view is absurd.

The F21 has been paying for her bills, school fees, and other expenses since she was 17 and has not asked for a single cent from their parents other than a roof over their head. However, the parents have guilt-tripped the F21 for spending money on leisure activities like going out with friends, eating out, and saving for the future. The F21 does not feel guilty and believes their parents are unreasonable. 

Despite the expected objections from her parents, the F21 is still going on its planned trip next year. She knows her parents would never be able to afford such a luxury, but her heart is set on the trip. 

Different values and beliefs can affect how people understand the situation described above. Some may empathize with the F21's situation, while others may criticize them for not contributing enough to their family or not moving out. Regardless, the F21 is grateful for the constructive criticism and recognizes that everyone may not understand him.

The Reddit Users Expressed their Views Promptly

One user said, “NTA (not the a**hole), it's not your responsibility to sort out your parent's finances, especially since they don't seem to care to contribute but rely on others. It's your money, so it's yours to spend, don't feel pressured because they made poor choices. Try to move out because if you're living with them, some contribution would be expected.”

Another user said,” ESH. You need to move out or contribute to the family. You seem to expect to live there for free while earning. Who is paying for the food, the heating, etc.? You are not the AH (a**hole) for wanting to travel or spending your money on travel, but if you are living there and not contributing, you are the AH for that.” 

Another user said, “NTA, What your parents have done is effectively allowed government aid to support their family and sat on their behinds while the family was forced to do without. Now, they are living in the mess they created of their own doing. If they want more money, let them go out and work for it.

You are under no obligation to support your family, especially when the main cause of it seems to be laziness. If you have worked and saved, you are entitled to enjoy those rewards by taking a trip and relaxing! They could have done the same, but seem totally unmotivated to have to work for it.”

Do you think F21 is wrong for traveling despite her family's hardships? This information was sourced from Reddit.

This article was produced and syndicated by The Impulse Traveler. This article is inspired by the internet and does not necessarily reflect the views or opinions of The Impulse Traveler.


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